Manweekend

Richard arrived first at 2:00pm Thursday expecting that the Grow Cottage had been in full Man Weekend mode for days. Instead however over the year Ned contacted some kind of debilitating disease (he dismissed it as a “job”) and arrived Thursday afternoon. Tom showed up second and the Edgewood and Tobey cottage contingents a few hours later.

Edgewood is host to a new Man this year who claims his name is Paul McCartney. So far there’s no sign of musical ability. We’ll see if he sticks to the story after he sobers up.

Patrick brought his big thirsty truck and, to add insult to injury, towed a trailer loaded with Edgewood crap. He figures he was getting about 12MPG. On the trailer is the Red Rocket’s boatlift, which hopefully means the RR will see more water time this year.

Not satisfied with lavish Friday and Saturday dinners, Allen and Patrick brought several dozen clams for a lavish Thursday dinner. Of such great thinking are traditions formed, hopefully.

Richard commissioned four pounds of hot and spicy beef jerky for the Weekend as a gesture of protest against those tiny ounce portions in drug-like plastic baggies that last for mere minutes. The estimated Thursday consumption is one half pound.

Charles designed the Man Weekend X commemorative tee-shirt logo. Founding Men get special gold tee-shirts in honor of their awesome Founderness. The johnny-come-latelies get silver shirts.

So far the weather isn’t cooperating. It’s windy and rainy, not even good weather for prepping boats, much less putting them to use. We may have to sit around inside and drink beer all day long. What a tragedy

Never, in the history of weekends, has the blockbuster summer season been so eagerly awaited.

The latest sequel of the wildly popular series Man Weekend is scheduled to be released to cottages throughout Highgate Springs on June 5, 2008 and is projected to open to unparalleled crowds and rave reviews.

For the first and only time Man Weekend has been rated X by the Man Weekend Association of America (MWAA). The unprecedented X rating was awarded for the following reasons:

• EXcessive numbers of Men show up.
• The weather is eXpected to be perfect.
• The food is eXtraordinary (in quantity and quality).
• The lake is full of eXtra big fish¹.
• EXtreme amounts of beer are consumed.
• The boats all run eXcellently.
• Minors are not allowed to attend.

Clearly, Man Weekend X is an event that must be experienced live and in person. You will not achieve the same satisfying Sunday morning feeling² by watching the DVD. Don’t miss out on the real thing!

Footnotes:

¹Whether we catch any remains to be seen.
²Tired, sunburned, dehydrated, slightly hungover, and heartburn.

Although the archives only date back to 1999 due to organizational issues and privacy concerns, this year marks the 10 Year Anniversary of Manweekend. As this is a very special celebration, all present and former Manweekend participants are encouraged to attend.

Consider the following:

1. Ty Tobey, a founding Man, was unable to attend Man Weekend 2007.
2. The weather was perfect, the fishing was pretty good (according to Allen), and the Ty-tanic worked flawlessly.

Is there a cause and effect relationship here?

Ty’s absence was an occasional topic of conversation. I now reveal the true reason Ty didn’t show. During his move Ty misplaced his Man Weekend hat and decided he’d rather skip Man Weekend entirely rather than endure the Ordeal of the Garment of Shame. It’s just as well. Man Weekend’s ISP would have probably pulled the plug if those pictures appeared on the web site.

Drama was provided by Gilbert and Scott’s heroic rescue of the Red Rocket when the RR’s new starter motor turned out to be the single-use model. Allen, Tom, Patrick, and Richard spent several hours out in the middle of the bay:

1. Picking pieces of exploded starter motor housing out of
   the engine.
2. Attempting to flag down nearby boats and airplanes.
3. Noting the direction of the drift and wondering if the Venice onion soup place was still open.
4. Franticly trying to remember cell phone numbers.

Fortunately, someone remembered Ty’s number, Ty was able to get Gilbert’s cell phone number from his office, and eventually the AquaPimp came around and, at some risk to its engine, towed the Red Rocket back to Shipyard.

Allen, Patrick, and Tom enjoyed a few minutes of quiet levity when they dropped the anchor while Richard was at the bow in a futile attempt to wield the paddle. Har, har, har guys.

The moral of the story is that if you need to be rescued, either everyone should bring their preprogrammed cell phones or at least one guy should be fishing without a license to insure a timely visit by the game warden.

Ned Atwater, who wants his attendance made a clear part of the record, drove up in his beautiful
30 year old truck. He says he got 18mpg on the ride up. Ned can also be seen in this year’s group shot and in the kayak pictures.

The art of the Man Weekend dinner has been perfected. The Saturday Man Meal was half melt-in-your-mouth meat and half monster shrimps prepared two different ways. The debt the rest of Man Weekend owes to Allen and Patrick for their work is incalculable. Allen brought a case of a dozen 20oz heavy glass goblets that were put into use by those not drinking beer. Whiskey, scotch, G&Ts, wine, and margaritas were being consumed in 20oz servings. Whee!

Tony Reed, a distant cousin to Allen and Richard, and single-star, sends the following:

“The Canadian Man-Weekend Auxiliary Branch, from it’s headquarters in Picton, Prince Edward County, Ont (just across the lake from Rochester NY, see?) wishes y’all all the best for Man-Weekend 2007.

May you always have red meat and strong beverage and a round in the chamber …”

Next year is Man Weekend X and the first gold stars will be awarded to those founding Men who deserve them. The time to start preparations (ie. sweet-talking her) is now!

The panoramic images were made with a free program called Autostitch.

More panoramas can be seen at the Camp Randolph pictures page.

It is estimated that 1 billion people watched the Superbowl this year. That’s just a fraction of the people³ who follow Man Weekend.

Top 10 reasons why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:

• #10 Superior advertising.⁴
• #9 Man Weekend lasts for three days, not three hours.
• #8 You don’t have to worry about your team losing.
• #7 Occasional souvenirs.⁵
• #6 Boats, fishing, and golf!
• #5 No lame⁶ geriatric⁷ half-time entertainment.
• #4 Better food.⁸
• #3 No stupid/blind/bribed officials.
• #2 There’s no one around to suggest that there are better things to do.⁹
• And, finally, the #1 reason why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:
• #1 Man Weekend’s Roman numeral doesn’t look like an underwear size.