Manweekend

Thanks to Glenn for passing along this groundbreaking piece of Advertising.

Link:

For our edification, some Manweekend Vocabulary from The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man, a “Dictionary of Manly 19th Century Vernacular”.

Art of Manliness

Anointing: A good beating. A case for the application of salve.

Blind Monkeys: An imaginary collection at the Zoological Gardens, which are supposed to receive care and attention from persons fitted by nature for such office and for little else. An idle and useless person is often told that he is only fit to lead the Blind Monkeys to evacuate. Another form this elegant conversation takes, is for one man to tell another that he knows of a suitable situation for him. “How much a week? and what to do?” are natural questions, and then comes the scathing and sarcastic reply, “Five bob a week at the doctor’s– you’re to stand behind the door and make the patients sick. They won’t want no physic when they sees your mug.”

Cupboard Love. Pretended love to the cook, or any other person, for the sake of a meal. My guts cry cupboard; i.e. I am hungry.

Earth Bath. A grave.

Fimble-Famble. A lame, prevaricating excuse.

Gentleman of Four Outs. When a vulgar, blustering fellow asserts that he is a gentleman, the retort generally is, ” Yes, a Gentleman Of Four Outs”–that is, without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.

O’clock. “Like One O’clock,” a favorite comparison with the lower orders, implying briskness; otherwise “like winkin’.” “To know what’s O’clock” is to be wide-awake, sharp, and experienced.

Rumbumptious. Haughty, pugilistic.

Snotter, or Wipe-hauler. A pickpocket whose chief fancy is for gentlemen’s pocket-handkerchiefs.

Tune the Old Cow Died of. An epithet for any ill-played or discordant piece of music.

It is estimated that 1 billion people watched the Superbowl this year. That’s just a fraction of the people³ who follow Man Weekend.

Top 10 reasons why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:

• #10 Superior advertising.⁴
• #9 Man Weekend lasts for three days, not three hours.
• #8 You don’t have to worry about your team losing.
• #7 Occasional souvenirs.⁵
• #6 Boats, fishing, and golf!
• #5 No lame⁶ geriatric⁷ half-time entertainment.
• #4 Better food.⁸
• #3 No stupid/blind/bribed officials.
• #2 There’s no one around to suggest that there are better things to do.⁹
• And, finally, the #1 reason why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:
• #1 Man Weekend’s Roman numeral doesn’t look like an underwear size.